FrankBaseball
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 13
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #1 |
Hi, just wondering is there any resources or advice on this site for fathers or is it simply for Mom's? As a side note, I used to go on the conscious weddings site a lot when I was engaged, and it was a great help.
Thanks.
|
| Loading... | | |
AussieJo
Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 116
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #2 |
I think it would be great if dads where on here too. There is so much to be gained from a man's perspective.
On a recent holiday to London I was chatting to a good friend of my husband's who is a dad to two kids. We had some very interesting chats about how fatherhood has totally changed his life and about how he went through a very challenging time with his friendships.
|
| Loading... | | |
FrankBaseball
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 13
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #3 |
Thats intersting Aussie. What did he find the most challenging? I would day for me its all of the responsibility of caring for a baby. Its incredible how much time and energy it requires! But it can be a lot of fun also.
|
| Loading... | | |
AussieJo
Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 116
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #4 |
My friend Jason talked a lot about how when he had his kids, a lot of his friends had children at the same time. About once a month, he wanted to go out after work and have a drink and would make sure that he would give his friends plenty of notice to meet him in a pub after work. He found that a lot of his friends would cancel or not take time out to meet up with their male friends because their wives/partners now had a list of chores for them to do as soon as they got home from work. As a result he hasn't seen a lot of his friends in the past year and he really misses that male company.
Maybe its the first couple of years where things are just so hard in terms of sleep, money etc.
I know what you mean about responsibility. It still hits me to this day a year on that my husband and I are so responsible for this little man we have. He starts off with a clean slate but we have to teach him so many things. It a MASSIVE responsibility!
|
| Loading... | | |
FrankBaseball
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 13
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #5 |
well, for me its weird because a lot of my friends, or people i see day to day dont have kids. So its like you become different from them right when your child is born. as for your comment about the first few years being hard because of fatigue money etc.. I am sure that makes it doubly hard. these are things that no one prepares you for!
|
| Loading... | | |
AussieJo
Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 116
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #6 |
We are the first couple out of our group of friends to have kids. We don't see a lot of them anymore and if we do, it has to be an early afternoon arrangement so we can get home in time for dinner/bath/milk etc.
Our lifestyle has changed a lot as a result of having Liam and there are nights where me and my husband fall into bed at 8pm to catch up on sleep. Liam is a fantastic 11 month old. He's very laidback, quite cruisey and loves other people. He comes out with us a lot and we have arranged our lifestyle around him, but we still continue to do things as we did, just making sure we fit around his routine. I want him to be independent and social and I think we've done a good job so far, getting him to interact with as many people as possible.
I only intended to take 6 months off work but its now been 12 months. I am going back to work next year but I need to find a new job as we are moving to the other side of Australia before Xmas. This year has been a huge struggle financially and my job was made redundant but I think you just get on with things and cope. If someone had told me how hard this year would be I think I would never have believed how strong and resilient we need to be as a couple and as parents, but I wouldn't change a single thing. Its been tough but we see the light now.
The thing I love about being a parent is being in the moment. I used to worry so much about the past and the future and now its just getting through the day and appreciating what we do as a family. I love watching the world through my sons eyes. He gave us a gift by choosing us to be his parents and we just work as hard as we can to do the right thing by him.
Its the hardest job in the world but by far the most rewarding and fruitful 
|
| Loading... | | |
FrankBaseball
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 13
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #7 |
I definitely know what you mean buy it being the hardest job in the world! My son is teething big time right now and he has been crying almost non-stop for the last few days, so its a real blast! I really liked what you said about coping, I think whenever we are faced with a tough transition (and what is tougher than becoming a parentt?) sometimes you just have to go with it and cope. I think I remeber you saying on a another post that you had been depressed lately has that gotten better?
Be well.
|
| Loading... | | |
AussieJo
Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 116
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #8 |
Frank, yes thank you I am feeling really good.
I found I wasn't taking care of myself. Not eating throughout the day, not having any 'me' time and not exercising. I've gone back to basics and know that if I have a time out for me each day (even if its a hot shower) and some exercise I'm happy. I know I need to eat three meals each day to function. I also starting taking a low dose of anti-depressants and they have made my mind a lot clearer and I can see where my problems stemmed from.
My husband and I don't have a support system so my problem was thinking I could do everything myself. I can't and I won't. I will be coming off the meds soon and will be finding other alternative ways to deal with stress like exercise and yoga. We are also making an interstate move so we will have family around us.
How are you coping with the teething? I am in teething hell right now too. Its so hard to help them when they can't tell you what is wrong.
|
| Loading... | | |
FrankBaseball
Registered: 10/02/09
Posts: 13
|
|
| |
Reply with quote | #9 |
I'am, happy top hear your doing better Aussie. Did the meds help a lot? I know sometimes being a parent came seem so overwhelming. What helps me a lot is when i speak to other people and they seem to experience the same things that I am going through. My wife and I are putting our condo up for sale, and are searching for a home, so I can definately relate to what you are saying about moving, except we are not going to be moving as far as you are! My son's teething has its ups and downs, this week wasnt as bad as last.
its a shame that this board isnt used more, I used to love the conscious weddings site.
Let me know how you are!
Bye.
|
| Loading... | | |
