AussieJo
Registered: 03/13/08
Posts: 116
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Reply with quote | #1 |
I haven't been on the board for a while, so I just wanted to pop in and say 'hi'.
Things have been a bit tough for me recently. From probably about May onwards there has been this feeling that something wasn't quite right. I've been to my doctor and am now on a small dose of anti-depressants and am going to see a psychologist tomorrow for my first appointment.
I feel like a failure. I cope with Liam absolutely fine, he's a great baby. What I wasn't prepared for was all the changes within myself and the constant questioning I am doing to the point of me getting really quite down about it. I'm hoping I can get to the root of the problem, because its like what I experienced when I got engaged, all these questions of 'am I doing the right thing?' 'did I make the right decision to have a baby and get married?'. I hate myself for thinking that way.
We've had a tough year. We've had financial pressures, my inlaws came to stay for 7 weeks when Liam was 3 months old, then they went home and decided that their marriage was kaput but they refuse to do anything about it and then it was left to me to get them to talk again. I feel lonely and quite isolated, despite meeting some new mums this year. Some days I feel like there is nothing to look forward to and here I am, with everything that I have ever wanted.
Liam continues to amaze me and I love him with such a ferocity but somedays I look at him and cry. Why?
I'm hoping I can get to the bottom of it all.
Sending everyone my love xx
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babyofsix
Registered: 03/25/08
Posts: 25
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Reply with quote | #2 |
Jo, I'm so sorry you're having a rough period right now. I can't speak from the mother perspective... I'm not there yet. But reading your post, one thing seemed obvious to me. You've had A LOT of changes in the past year. You've given birth for the first time (probably a very emotional experience all around, with all sorts of emotions), your inlaws aren't doing well, money's tight, your life has changed due to Liam, whom you love, but aren't quite sure of your new role yet (kind of like your new role as a wife when you first got married).
You've gotten through this before and I believe you will get through it again. You're taking the steps you need to take to get where you need to be. Just remember, one step at a time, one day/hour/minute at a time, and you'll get there.
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