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soontobe
Registered: 07/07/09
Posts: 2

07/07/09 at 05:49 PM

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Hi everyone!

I'm not sure if some of you remember me but I was on the conscious wedding site under soontobeengaged. Well I have been happily married for a year and 1/2 and I can honestly say that marrying my husband was the best decision I have ever made!

The reason I stumbled upon this site is because my husband and I are thinking about starting a family. We both love kids and have always known that we wanted them but only really started seriously thinking about trying to have a baby after we had a false positive on a pregnancy test. The positive was a surprise and after we got over the shock we were really happy (nervous but happy). When the blood test came back negative I was shocked at my reaction. I was sad and depressed for days. I sat in bed crying and actually felt a sense of loss. My husband was also quite upset and this prompted us to seriously talk about trying to have a baby.

We have decided that we are going to try to conceive. It is the perfect time for us--we both have secure jobs, own a home, etc. and we feel ready ...as ready as you can be I guess!

The only problem is I can feel that anxiety creeping up...those what if's...What if I'm a bad mom? What if I'm not ready? I keep thinking this is a choice where there is no turning back...once you commit to having a baby that is it...you are having one...there is no backing out and I guess that finality scares the heck out of me!

I have never let fear stop me from anything in life and this will be no different...I guess my question is...if I was really ready would I feel this way? There is a huge difference in getting pregnant by accident and in purposely trying and I guess I am starting to feel the anxiety that goes along with the finality of the trying.

I never thought I would feel this scared when the time came to try for a baby...I thought I would only feel elation and I am happy and excited but also freaked out!

Any advice?

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